Faith, Grief & Healing
Faith, Grief & Healing
Written By: Bob Nelson
Faith & Grief, a ministry supported by Arapaho UMC, gathers each month and follows a consistent schedule: There is an introduction followed by a prayer and a scripture reading. Next the speaker for the meeting shares his or her story. Then the attendees get into small groups of 6-8 participants. For approximately 20 minutes, the group members share their personal stories of grief, and react to each other. In the small groups, everyone is given an equal opportunity to share their personal grief story if they feel comfortable doing so; everyone is listened to and given support before we come back together and close the meeting. In this time of pandemic, everything is virtual rather than in person, but the agenda is still the same.
The agenda may seem simplistic and mechanical, perhaps too regimented to be of value. However, from my experience, a deep and profound sense of compassion develops in these meetings. Personally, I have found several truths to be revealed in these meetings. First, a very paradoxical truth becomes apparent. Grief is always unique --there is no single pattern, no mold for pain. Tears are always individual things yet, there is also a universality to pain. In reality, all tears are the same. The paradoxical truth, despite the individuality of grief, there seems to be a uniformity, the resonant sound of a silent scream.
The second truth, from all of the stories of loss I have heard in the past four years, I have learned that grief is a process that never ends, like breathing, every breath new and yet every breath the same.
The third truth is the most profound and has had the greatest impact on me. The simple telling of one’s pain, sharing it with others in an accepting environment, has a dramatic and powerful consequence. An equal impact comes from listening to other people’s stories.
I have found that something extremely positive happens in a Faith and Grief meeting, something that evades analysis. I am tempted to call this a magical, mystical experience, but I am not comfortable with such a label. The truth is that people heal people. When experienced alone, grief festers, but when grief is shared, it becomes bearable. Maybe that is the miracle. Faith and Grief is a living testimonial to the power of empathy, the healing, regenerative, validating power of empathy. It is nothing more but it is also nothing less. And that, I feel, is quite adequate.
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Faith and Grief Ministries provide several services for someone experiencing grief. Retreats, workshops, gatherings, blogs, podcasts and book reviews are available. Learn more at www.faithandgrief.org.
Faith and Grief also meets regularly for several local gatherings. A quick scan reveals two gatherings per month in Richardson: Tuesday evening and Thursday at noon during the third week of every month. Furthermore, Faith and Grief Ministries offer gatherings throughout the country in various cities to help people on their grief journey. Although Arapaho, in connection with Canyon Creek Presbyterian Church and Preston Hollow Presbyterian hosts at noon on the third Thursday of each month on Zoom.
About the author:
Bob Nelson has retired after 52 years of teaching, 30 of them at Pearce High School. He has been active at AUMC for over 20 years. He facilitates a monthly free floating conversation called Socrates Circle on the third Friday of each month. He has also been involved and on the leadership team for Faith & Grief at Arapaho. His faith journey is ongoing and he appreciates the environment at Arapaho that allows him to grow spiritually.